“Love suffers
long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not
parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its
own, is not provoked, thinks
no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all
things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never
fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
The aching
that resonated within my chest ran so deep that every nerve seemed to echo
the same tattered and damaged song. My heart was overtaken with discomfort
as if someone had physically bruised and marred it. To think that I could somehow manage to forgive the individual who
had ignited the anguish was questionable...but I said I did.
At least,
I said I did.
Little
did they know that I replayed the scenario countless times in my head...each
with a different outcome. Every time I recounted the catastrophe my heart
became more and more callous. Quickly, I subjected my thoughts to conversations
I would have with that person.
Days turned into months and months into years and still the very thought of that person would cause that incident to replay over and over and over again. Still I was being tormented with the thoughts of the past and bitter towards the one who had offended me.
"...[LOVE] keeps no records
of wrong." (NIV)
There is
a difference between recalling the painful valleys we have walked through in the
past and holding things against one another. Painful memories from traumatizing
experiences can last for years, but to have the strength to forgive is part of
the healing process.
It's in
our human nature to keep records of things. We record the spending of our money
in our check books or computers, some of us keep a journal to record our
thoughts and feelings and we keep record of medical information. Naturally, we
would keep a record of the wrongs others have inflicted upon us.
But
that's not like Christ and that's not how He loves.
He has
been so gracious to blot out our transgressions and throw them into the depths
of the sea. He loves us when we are prideful and selfish. He forgives us when
we call upon His name and ask to be forgiven. He remembers them no more
(Hebrews 8:12).
We need
to follow the beautiful example that has been set before us through our
precious Savior. One that loves as He does and doesn't think evil towards
someone. A loving heart that forgives and lets go.
Love,
Ashley
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